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Joke of the Day

"What did the the physiatrist say to the electron You have a lot of negative energy built up"

"The heaviest things in the world: 4) iron 3) lead 2) tungsten 1) a toddler who doesn't want to be picked up"

"I can't afford Ugg boots, so I just never shave below the knee to create the illusion that I'm wearing them."

"As horses say to one another. Any friend of yours is a palomino!"

"What do you do if an old man asks for a helping hand? He is meaning a hand job so run away!"

"What's the difference between an old joke and a new one? Nothing. We're on reddit"

"Lance Armstrong...Optimist or Pessimist? So, Lance, do you see the scrotum as half-full, or do you see the scrotum as half-empty?"

"What is a similarity between a Rubik's cube and a dick? The longer you play with it, the harder it gets."

"The shortest way to piss off a hipster... Apple phone & iwatch"

"The only way I'd get within six feet of some people is if I'm standing on their grave."