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Joke of the Day

"""That'll be $15.99 please"" ""Do you take giant revolving badgers?"" *cashier grabs me by the throat* ""We ONLY take giant revolving badgers"""

"Apparently Sepp Blatter has resigned to spend more time with his family... ... And his shreddder"

"What do you call a hatred for large plants? Bigotree"

"My brother said he's incontinent. Yeah, he said he's wet his pants in nearly every nation in the world."

"Definition of circlejerk circlejerk: What comes around goes around."

"Me: Do you have any mini-ipods in stock? Guy: what color? Me: Any color. Guy: We don't have any. You Sir, have achieved stupid greatness."

"Samoa is in 2 time zones Some of those people are living in the past"

"Hey, how about making a normal fucking face when you sing?"

"Some people think it's difficult to live with Erectile Dysfunction But really, it's not that hard."

"Keep on Trying by Percy Vere"