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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a hatred for large plants? Bigotree"

"I was driving home today and got stuck behind a car with a bumper sticker that said ""Be an organ donor!""... They were doing 20 in a 30. I guess they aren't feeling that committed to the cause."

"I'm trying to read on the train but it's hard because people keep applauding & screaming ""You are the train's smartest boy!"" at me"

"take your time pedestrians we're not dreaming of mowing you down at all"

"What did the dog say after a hard day at work ? ""Today sure was ruff"" Read that today on my university's art wall and made me smile a bit , thought i'd share it :P"

"A man went into a store to buy some condoms. ""That's 1 dollar 15 plus tax"" said the store assistant. ""I don't need tacks"" said the man. ""It'll stay up all by itself."""

"I love the concept of karma. It means all the people I mistreat and fuck over every day must have it coming."

"I just got my medication for my depression. I'll kill myself if I don't take it."

"Still good at casually flexing my bicep the second before a girl touches it."

"A lot of parents are asking questions about my baby cannon. Like ""Does it really fire babies?"" & ""Have you seen my son Jeff?"""