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Joke of the Day
"Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta-way"
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"Sometimes I feel like Valentine's Day was invented by a guy who had way too many chocolate covered strawberries."
"That moment of panic when you accidentally swipe left on Bae while getting food off your phone."
"I bet my fish rolls his eyes when I tell people on the phone how busy I am."
"With great power comes huge electricity bill"
"Why can't Irishmen be lawyers? They can never get past the bar."
"What's the difference between a cat and a period? A cat has claws at the end of its paws, and a period is a pause at the end of a clause."
"hAD SO MYCH COFFEE WHO wantS TO HELP ME STOP KONY LETS GO LETS STEAL A CAR BRO CMON"
"Magic trick: Take your age, subtract three, now add three. That's your age."
"Spinach is like Anal Sex If your forced to have it as a child you won't enjoy it as an adult"