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Joke of the Day

"Yes, I'd like to return this pizza ""is there a problem, sir?"" *opens box* ITS GOT NO TOPPINGS ON ""sir, you've opened the box upside-down"""

"My girl always tells me ""Life is about the little things"", but I just hate when she talks about her Ex."

"My love life."

"What's grey and comes in quarts? An elephant."

"What is Hitler's favorite thing to eat? Not seafood."

"I don't know why people are surprised when I tell them my Grandfather Made it out of Auschwitz. Most of the German officers did."

"What will Kayne West's political leaning be if he runs for President? West wing"

"Ate way too much..I'm gonna go to Africa and throw up everything I just ate for all the starving children..yes I do have a generous side."

"I was laying on my SO's chest and commented on how comfortable it was... And she hits me with a ""It's like it's MAMMorey foam!"" line. I was quite impressed."

"What do you call someone with a large head? The headmaster."