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Joke of the Day

"I don't know why people are surprised when I tell them my Grandfather Made it out of Auschwitz. Most of the German officers did."

"1-buy waterbed 2-fill with wine 3-get Capri Sun straw 4-never leave your bed again"

"""What should we name them?"" Grapes ""And what about these?"" Grapefruits ""I see. So one is a larger version of another?"" Not at all ""Perfect"""

"Why does Donald Trump always seem upset? Because it's better to be pissed off than pissed on."

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered six offender"

"A man is walking with a young boy into the woods. Boy: ""Hey mister, it's getting dark out and I'm scared."" Man: ""How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone."""

"NEED HELP I'm in a situation that could require me to pull out some good jokes when asked. I need to hear the best jokes on the internet. The dirtier the better. Thanks in advance"

"Dogs are tough. I've been interrogating this one for hours and he still won't tell me who a good boy is."

"A Clinton is running for POTUS, a Jurassic Park movie dominated the summer box office, and they found a knife on OJ's property. It's 1994."

"While working at a lab, I accidentally put a q-tip that had been exposed to pulmonary tuberculosis in my mouth I consumed consumption."