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Joke of the Day

"2016: Trump elected 2018: Border wall completed 2020: Mexico takes Gold, Silver & Bronze in Pole Vault at the Summer Olympics"

"NASA found methane on Mars! Proving once again that no matter how ancient a civilization is, it's farts that truly endure."

"What song did the man who lived next door to a brothel sing on his way to work? Hi ho, Hi ho, it's off to work I go!"

"I bet the guy who invented falling asleep was totally like ""Oh no! I died! Hey, wait a minute..."""

"Every time I use Twitter secretly at work and a colleague asks me why I'm laughing, ""this pie chart is hilarious!"" never sounds believable."

"How can you tell a black person is lying? His lips are moving."

"""Pay attention to me, but not too much. Ignore me, but make me feel wanted. Let me know you want me, but don't be clingy.""-women"

"Knock knock... Who's there? Dunup Dunup who?"

"What's got 8 feet and 10 shoes? The McCann Family."

"Now I know why they call her ""head nurse"" It's because she is in charge of the other nurses...not what I was hoping for."