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Joke of the Day

"I bet the guy who invented falling asleep was totally like ""Oh no! I died! Hey, wait a minute..."""

"What do you call an 800 pound gorilla? Anything he wants to be called."

"Hey Billy Joel it's called a pianist."

"How can you tell if a hippie has been at your house? He's still there."

"What do you call a Massachusite who cuts down trees? _In a New England accent..._ A Boston lager. . . . . . I made this up yesterday in the car."

"Whenever you're having a bad day, think of the guy who has to put the circus tent back in its bag."

"Wait, so hallways in mental institutions aren't called psychopaths? Well they should be."

"What did the doctor say to the terminally ill deaf patient? ""Now, this may be difficult to hear..."""

"What did the shoe say about the customer who didn't like that it had yellow shoestring? That's lacist."

"I remember the last thing my nan said to me before she died. ""What are you doing in here with that hammer?"""