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Joke of the Day

"I took your girlfriend out for some Chipotle last week...... guacamole wasn't the only thing she wanted extra on the side."

"Everyone was calling me a Pedo I'm 47 and she's 20, but the people in the restaurant really ruined our tenth anniversary"

"What is the difference between a Mexican and a book? A book has papers."

"If Google ever goes down and stays down, I'm fucked. I know four facts and they're all about elephants and I already forgot three of them."

"Guess who I ran into when I went to get my glasses. Everybody"

"I was going to make a scene when they told me I couldn't join the Easter Egg hunt... ...instead I just left without a Peep."

"vote up cause im a criminal the rules for starting a thread im quoting ""Beginning your title with ""vote up if"" is violation of intergalactic law."""

"Do you know that percussionist in the band? Yeah, he rings a bell."

"If you dress up as a banana and eat a banana Is that canabananalism?"

"[sanitation worker knocks at my door] The amount of McDonald's related trash we're collecting from your home each week has us concerned."