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Joke of the Day

"[sanitation worker knocks at my door] The amount of McDonald's related trash we're collecting from your home each week has us concerned."

"What does a Kentucky girl scream while she is having sex? Get off me Pa, you is crushing my cigarettes!"

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil? I wouldn't pay to have a lentil on my face!"

"When two gay men get married, whose parents pay for the wedding? Neither, because they're both ashamed of their children's disgusting and sinful lifestyle choices."

"What do you call Captain Forte and his sidekick Piano? A dynamic duo! This joke came to me in my delirious state after hours of band camp practices."

"What do you call it when a man is given an order to take another man out lunch? A MANDATE *snicker*"

"What do you get when you mix a rat and an elephant? Who cares? It's a relephant."

"I'm so proud of my African pen pal friend. He tells me he hasn't had a drink in weeks. I'm so glad, he's staying sober."

"What's red and green and spins round & round & round? A frog in a blender."

"How does Craig Venter drink beer? Shotgun method"