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Joke of the Day

"me: wanna hang out? southern girl: well, dip me in honey butter, roll me around in mississippi sand and saddle a junebug to savannah me:"

"How can you tell how hard a nigga is? By the number of niggabytes in his hard drive."

"""But I can't conquer China, it's way too big..."" Now Genghis, what do I always say? *Sighs* ""I'm Genghis Khan, not Genghis Khan't"""

"Twitter's still doing that thing where I'm not funny."

"Everything is made in China. But babies are made in Vachina 1"

"Dear Cupid, next time hit us both."

"Q: How did the ghost patch his sheet? A: With a pumpkin patch."

"I have the heart of a saint And a lifetime ban from Mother Teresa's grave."

"What did the snowman eat for breakfast? Frosted snow flakes. My 4.5 y/o son came up with this joke, but his punch line was ""snow flakes"". I added the ""frosted"". Teamwork."

"So if Valentine's Day is for couples, then the other 364 days are for me, right?"