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Joke of the Day

"""But I can't conquer China, it's way too big..."" Now Genghis, what do I always say? *Sighs* ""I'm Genghis Khan, not Genghis Khan't"""

"Your momma is so fat that her measurements are 26-34-28 and her other arm is just as big!"

"Existentialist, nihilist, cynic... An existentialist, a nihilist and a tired from life cynic walk into a bar. And the bartender says: ""Sorry guys, the bar's 18+ only"""

"Might love you quicker if you bring me more Liquor."

"[at dentist office] Well you gave me this paper bib and said to put it on how was I to know I wasn't supposed to undress first"

"How does Michael J Fox take his martinis? Shaken. Not stirred"

"So I was thinking while taking the biggest dump of my life... and I just feel so empty inside."

"The shortest joke about Islamic State ""Made in ISIS"""

"Uber lost over a billion dollars in the last six months so they're asking their drivers to check between the seat cushions."

"Wait just a minute! You're not Jennifer Aniston! Oh, you got me with that avi. Well played. I knew it was to good to be true."