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Joke of the Day

"I have the heart of a saint And a lifetime ban from Mother Teresa's grave."

"What did phenolphthalein do when he couldn't understand his Chemistry homework? He just added Acetic Acid until it became clear."

"Why did the barber win the race? He knew a short cut."

"No, really, you should definitely reblog fifty more versions of that ""Keep Calm and Carry On"" poster."

"My friend's bakery burned down last night Now his business is toast"

"What do you call 50 female pigs and 50 male deer? A hundred sows and bucks."

"I see that El Chapo has been extradited to the U.S. So we may not get a Mexican wall but I bet we get a tunnel!"

"Shake up a random soda pop in the company fridge today. You deserve it."

"I told Cheryl Cole I was taking her to Scandinavia for a weeks holiday. ""Norway?"" ""No, I'm serious."""

"Why does Pinocchio lie? because he's a fucking liar"