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Joke of the Day

"Dear Cupid, next time hit us both."

"When I see a plate of food, I eat it, rather than photograph it like a dangerous psychopath with no respect for God's Law."

"If people were as passionate about world affairs as they are about their opinions on tattoos, we'd be on WWVIII by now."

"a bear and a rabbit are shitting in the woods The bear asks the rabbit if he has problems with shit sticking to his fur. The rabbit replies, ""no why?"" The bear then wipes his ass with the rabbit."

"Why did Ted Bundy dropout of an Italian cooking class? There were not enough Italians to eat."

"Children are like ulcers... Their small, painful, restrict what you can and can't eat and by the time you've realised what's wrong you'll have 2 or 3 others"

"I accepted the Microsoft terms and conditions without reading them, and apparently I'm now responsible for hemming all of Bill Gates' pants."

"My high-school wrestling coach called me ""the raccoon"" cause I was small but feisty and ate garbage and gave people lyme disease"

"My favorite sexual position is the JFK I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car."

"What's the difference between a Lambo and 1,000 dead babies? I dont have a Lambo in my Garage..."