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Joke of the Day
"Sarcasm has to be the official language when we live in a world this absurd."
Next Joke
"What is black and white and red all over? An Orca on a Japanese whaling ship."
"Grandma didn't do 69 I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, ""No, but I have done 53, that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."""
"Having persuaded autocorrect that I don't want to duck anything, I hope the council don't take my complaint about the pond the wrong way."
"When I woke up this morning I was like, ""I really can't stay"" but my bed was like, ""Baby, it's cold outside."""
"I'm not religious until you need help moving on a Sunday."
"How do mesquite trees get taller? They stand on their mesqui-toes!"
"Cigarettes are like Squirrels... They're completely harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire"
"Taco Bell doesn't have a playground because its hard to have fun when you might shit your pants"
"What's the longest sentence in the English language? I do."