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Joke of the Day

"My teacher told me I should stop being consecutively late to school... I guess she can't handle people who are Re-tardy."

"Single beds Should date more."

"Did you hear about the fire at the circus? It was intense"

"Based on the seemingly random things my autocorrect suggests I sometimes wonder if it is trying to communicate with me."

"I got my wisdom teeth out solely to make a cute viral video of what I said coming out of anaesthesia, but I used the N-word too many times."

"German sausages... are the wurst."

"How do you get a fat chick in bed? A piece of cake."

"my wife's friend is so pissed i made fun of his lazy eye he's having a hard time even looking at me"

"What's the difference between my daughter and my wife? I need viagra to maintain erection with my wife."

"What do you call a gigolo you don't pay? A Free Willy."