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Joke of the Day

"I want to visit Antarctica some day... It's such a chilled out place and the people there are really cool."

"Which race is the most racist? The human one."

"Instead of laughing my ass off, I'm going to start laughing my stomach off. I'd rather lose that."

"[I time travel and bring back Shakespeare] SHAKESPEARE: What's this? ME: That's a meme SHAKESPEARE: What the hell is wrong with you people"

"I like my women like I like my sandwiches crusty and filled with cheese."

"back in my day, we had to print out a tweet and hand it to a friend for a retweet. you kids got it easy ""shut the fuck up grandma"""

"What do you say to someone who doesn't like Rick & Morty? I'm going to need you to take your opinions and put'em wayyy up inside your butthole."

"What did Obi-Wan Kenobi say to his wife when she cheated on him? ""May divorce be with you."""

"I may not be the richest guy...or the smartest guy...or the funniest guy...or the best-looking guy...or the .....:( Forget it, now I'm depressed."

"Saw a guy on the side of the road with a ""will work for food"" sign. So I threw him a coconut."