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Joke of the Day

"Why don't elephants like playing cards in the jungle ? Because of all the cheetahs !"

"Damn girl are you an alarm clock? Because no matter how many times I hit you you won't shut the fuck up"

"My report card always said I was not living up to my full potential. Well, the joke's on them. That really was as good as I was going to get"

"Reddit, you are just like my dad... No matter what I do, it will never be good enough for you."

"[In a chair] Leans back Leans back Leans ba... [Ambulance]"

"Don't let the door hit you on the way out! *guy looks back and laughs, the door punches him in the back of the head*"

"Are you reading this from a toilet? I'm writing this from one."

"What would happen if you shot Donald Trump in the rump? You'd hit Christi in the head!"

"I told my 5 year old that he was allowed to choose 1 item from the grocery store so we're walking home with a cart."

"I'm a shy person with low self-esteem, but I'll tell you a great joke ..if you promise not to laugh."