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Joke of the Day

"Damn girl are you an alarm clock? Because no matter how many times I hit you you won't shut the fuck up"

"Why did the chicken of the sea cross the road? Because a tuna can!"

"Come a little closer so I can push you away. Women"

"What do you call a plant getting kidney surgery? A transplant"

"Finally, you get a cab. The driver is a golden retriever. You hop in and hope for the best"

"What do you call a discount sauna? A steam sale"

"A racist, a womanizer, and a rapist walked into a bar... ...the bartender says ""how may I help you, Mr. President?"""

"My wife said I suffer from premature ejaculation.. I told her that I don't suffer"

"Thanksgiving Prank - Pregnant Turkey http://tjmix.net/index.php/videos?task=latest&id=557&sl=latest&layout=simple"

"""Hey can you take our picture?"" ME: yea sure *takes picture* ME: wait sorry, The Flash was turned on THE FLASH: *blushing in the background*"