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Joke of the Day

"How is a computer like an air conditioner? They both stop working properly when you open windows."

"I got caught masturbating by the fedex guy I shouldn't have answered the door, but you gotta sign for that shit or wait til he comes again."

"Finally got around to shaving my crotch after a few years. Its nice to see my knees again."

"Hey, I may not look like much right now, but believe me, in the morning I'll look even worse."

"When I get home the first thing I'm going to do is rip my wife's panties off. Because they're too small and the elastic is killing me."

"My friend and I often laugh about how competitive we are... But I laugh more"

"The wall clock at work seems to be stuck on half past f*ck this sh*t o' clock."

"No power. Mitt Romney : ""8 Million Americans still have no power."" Obama: ""8 Million and one."""

"If I ever have a daughter, i'm gonna name her Desire And when she is 18, I'll kick her out of the house and when she asks why, I'll say ""Because all suffering comes from desire""."

"How many prostitutes does it take to change a lightbulb? Obviously more than four, they've been in my basement for days, and it's still dark down there!"