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Joke of the Day

"I got caught masturbating by the fedex guy I shouldn't have answered the door, but you gotta sign for that shit or wait til he comes again."

"Where does geography and geography meet? The Bermuda Triangle."

"My housemate threw milk on me... how dairy."

"there are naturally attractive people and then there are people like me who take pictures from good angles with the right lighting"

"I think I could make a pretty decent living as one of those people in infomercials who have immense difficulty performing everyday tasks."

"How do you make a door cry? You twist its knob. edit: grammar"

"My wife told me to find someone else if anything ever happened to her so I don't know why she got pissed when she found my ""prospects"" list."

"Something came in the mail today deez nuts"

"Can't sleep. Just miss Circuit City a lot right now."

"My friend is a German butcher He always tells me the wurst jokes."