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Joke of the Day
"My friend and I often laugh about how competitive we are... But I laugh more"
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"I am so glad that I poop in a toilet, rather than a bag. Given that I did that for 14 months of my life, perspective is a nice thing."
"They should do a scene in a comedy movie where someone rides their bike into a parked car."
"I will always remember what my grandfather said to me right before he kicked the bucket. He said, ""How far do you think I can kick this bucket?"""
"One day a man met three beggars. To the first he gave a dime to the second a dime and to the third a nickel. What time was it? A quarter to three."
"If you like to speak in different languages while high off marijuana, you're probably Rosetta Stoned."
"What kinds of jokes do cats play on each other? Purranks."
"What is nine inches long and keeps a woman up screaming all night? Sudden Infant Death Syndrome"
"[2005, youtube's first pitch meeting] ok so basicaly its like if america's funniest home videos was on 24 hrs a day on evrey computer-- SOLD"
"I don't understand hair It's just over my head."