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Joke of the Day

"A grasshopper walks into a bar... Bartender says, ""You know, we have a drink named after you."" Grasshopper says, ""You have a drink called Steve?"""

"Picking out the right Christmas tree is a science. Sneaking into your neighbor's yard to cut it down is an art."

"Why didn't the bride and groom exchange their wedding vows? TL;DR"

"Did you hear about the whistle-blower who couldn't make it home for Christmas? He was Snowden."

"An British man, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar The Irishman says 'Hey, is this some kind of joke?'"

"What do you find at the end of a double rainbow? A group of gay men"

"I'm trying to get my wife to quit smoking. Maybe I should slow down and use a lubricant."

"Wanna hear a pizza joke? I can't tell it to ya, it's too cheesy"

"What do you call an Irish man who won't leave your porch? Paddy O' furniture"

"What do you call a woman who uses Vagisil? a Basic bitch"