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Joke of the Day

"Last night I reached for my liquid viagra and accidentally swigged from a bottle of tippex.. ...I woke this morning with a huge correction."

"It's 2011 and we're not driving dragons? The future sickens me."

"Banana starts with a B but normally starts with a N."

"Hi I'm 37 yrs old. According to folklore, I've swallowed 259 spiders, 47 moths, 3 coyotes, and a grizzly bear in my sleep since I was born."

"How do you know if your best friend is gay? If his dick tastes like shit!"

"What kind of shoes do bears wear? None because they go barefoot."

"If you were in a race with vegetables You would need to get a head of lettuce"

"I just patented a new device that allows you to pee while watching a movie... It's called the ""Catheater""."

"What do you call a place that you put an arrested caucasian gang member in? A white blood cell."

"Why did the Chili Pepper cross the road? To get to the other side...to get to the other siiiide"