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Joke of the Day
"It's 2011 and we're not driving dragons? The future sickens me."
Next Joke
"Texas. Where the vegan menu item is chicken."
"Q: What do birds give out on Halloween? A: Tweets."
"Gay jokes aren't funny! I mean...Come on guys!"
"The Doctor was puzzled ""I'm very sorry but I can't diagnose your trouble Mahoney. I think it must be drink. "" ""Don't worry about it Dr. Kelley I'll come back when you're sober."""
"Dr: do you have kids? me: yes I have 3 kids Dr: do you drink? me: yes I have 3 kids"
"I retweet to avoid any awkward silences between tweets."
"What do you call Bob Marley when he wears glasses? Rasta-four-eyes"
"My sex life is like finding a parking spot in town. All the good ones are taken, so sometimes when no one is looking I have to stick it into disabled one."
"What's the difference between Lance Armstrong and Hitler? Lance could finish a race"