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Joke of the Day
"What's black and white stinks and hangs from a line? A drip dry skunk."
Next Joke
"What part of ""No"" don't you understand? Probably the whole thing I'm guessing. It's a pretty short word. What? You're a squirrel? Sorry"
"What's the difference between the average yogurt and the United States of America? if you leave a yogurt alone for two-hundred years it'll develop a culture (also it can be fat free)"
"20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope, and Steve Jobs. Now we have no cash, no hope, and no jobs."
"I lost my thesaurus when I was little... I couldn't find the words to describe how I felt."
"Your mom's got eight vaginas and a Ph.D. We call her Dr. Octopus."
"My inflatable girlfriend always looks surprised when I walk into the room."
"Bad news about shortbread! They're not making it any longer."
"*dims the lights so you look like your selfies*"
"What element can combine with two nitrogens and an oxygen, and still have there be only one element? XeNON."