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Joke of the Day

"All music classes were banned at my school... They said the classes encouraged too much sax and violins..."

"In my experience, less than 40% of people wearing ""Duke"" sweatshirts are actual dukes"

"My neighbour really pissed me off last night... He kept playing the same Lionel Richie song over and over. I wouldn't mind normally but it was all night long."

"A mushroom goes into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, 'We don't serve your kind here."" The mushroom says, ""Why not? I'm a fungi."""

"An invisible man attacked me while he was masturbating. He came out of nowhere."

"I don't mind people sneezing in public. It's that ""Pre-sneeze face"" they make that scares the hell out of me."

"What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match."

"My 8 year old daughter said she needed a new head coach at school I figured why not have my wife be the new head coach? She's great at it!"

"Why are red heads never calm? Because it's so easy to make a ginger snap."

"What's a dancer's favorite type of water? Tap water"