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Joke of the Day

"I was fired my first day on the job as a food vendor at the ballpark. A man ordered a corn dog from me. He was not pleased when I returned from the pet store 20 minutes later with his new husky."

Next Joke
 
"I heard that processed meats are just as bad for you as cigarettes so I'm walking around smoking a hot dog looking cool as hell."
"My rich uncle just passed away so I recently came into some money But now the bills are all stuck together"
"Yo mama so fat, when she stands next to yo daddy they still in a long-distance relationship."
"Me: Are you still wearing pajamas? Go change. 4yo: *Goes upstairs *Comes down wearing different pair of pajamas"
"Which of the following does not belong: a) Gordon Lightfoot b) Helen Reddy c) Donald Trump d) Celine Dion b) Helen Reddy is not associated with a sinking ship."
"Corporations big and small rejoice as taxes are lowered in St. Louis for businesses. Once again proving that famous saying; Missouri loves companies."
"Police:Is there anything you can tell us about your attacker. Me:He was much better at fighting than me. Police:Ok is there anything else?"
"You better lock your doors tonight, person who taught my parents texting."
"Why was the dietician kicked out of the casino? He was caught counting carbs."