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Joke of the Day

"What is the last step in manufacturing Tickle-Me-Elmo's before packaging and shipping to stores? Give it two test-tickles."

"I'd rather my son bring home a pregnant girl than head lice"

"How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizza? Deep pan, Crisp and Even"

"What is long and yellow and always points north? A magnetic banana."

"kind of weird we punch the shit out of doors to announce our arrival at someone's home"

"Have you seen the new clear plastic bikinis? They're worth looking into."

"Her: u have a choice its me or the megaphone Me: fine Her: good Me: [puts megaphone directly to her ear] I THINK WE SHOULD SEE OTHER PEOPLE"

"I bought some shoes... I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with but I've been trippin' all day."

"Kiss her in the middle of her sentence chicks dig when you visit them in jail"

"What do you call a lesbian with 1,000 semi-automatic guns? Militia Etheridge."