905
Joke of the Day
"This mallard waddled into a bar... Should've ducked."
Next Joke
"COP: You seen an escaped evil octopus? ME: No COP: [looks up] Nice chandelier ME: Thanks COP: Why is it wet? ME: Um COP: And holding 8 guns?"
"I'm not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them."
"I feel so alive when I watch an object fall and shatter into hundreds of pieces. Not alive enough to clean up the mess though."
"What do Amy Schumer and a tampon have in common? They're both stuck up cunts."
"When did Sean Connery get to Wimbledon? Tennish."
"My parents are in town and said they'd be at my house in ten minutes, and I'm wondering if that's enough time to build a moat."
"What is the rapper's favorite bread? 2 Grainz"
"Shouldn't Spiderman have 4 more legs?"
"How does a tornado tell the time? It checks the tornado watch."