90407

Joke of the Day

"Why do the Lannisters have such big beds? Because they like to push two twins together to make a king. (Game of Thrones ref)"

"*replaces cream in doughnuts with mayo, tries not to laugh as Frank from accounting eats one...watches, waits, frowns as Frank goes for 2nd"

"The best part of a handshake is the knuckles. I dunno why, but the blender just brings out their richness and flavour"

"What's the difference between a Jew and a truck? The truck doesn't scream when you pump gas into it."

"""Come on now, I'm sure that Megatron isn't such a bad guy when you get to know him..."" - Optimist Prime."

"Why don't I play chess with the Prodigy? they smack my bishop"

"I was offered a job building Egyptian tombs Turned out to be a pyramid scheme"

"I come from a stupid family. During the civil war my great uncle fought for the West."

"Which celebrity is great at creating probate documents? Will Smith"

"""Good morning, this is your pilot speaking"" ... ""AND THIS IS YOUR PILOT SHOUTING"" ... ""and this is your pilot doing some sick beatboxing"""