132606
Joke of the Day
"Why don't I play chess with the Prodigy? they smack my bishop"
Next Joke
"Me, hold a grudge? Never. I carry a battle axe at all times and settle any nonsense as it happens."
"Where does a king keep his armies?? In his sleevies"
"[backstage at a concert] hey guys you mind signing this? [next day at car dealership] rascal flatts is your cosigner?"
"I'm scared that the mob is looking for me I've been getting a lot of emails from Don Otreply about bill payments."
"My Reddit posts are just like my prostitutes. They always end up getting buried."
"[Brings a snowball to a work meeting and tosses it at boss] I'm not trying to disprove the theory of global warming I just don't like you."
"I'm working on my second $million I finally gave up on the first."
"I yelled at my wife ""Your miniskirt is way too short!!"" ""Thats because its made for a woman"" she replied ""Now take it off & give it to me"""
"TIL Trampolines were originally called Jumpolines.. ..until your mom jumped on one."