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Joke of the Day

"Dear Lord, there is a bug in your software...it's called #Monday, please fix it..."

"What sound does a Chinese doorbell make? Ching Chong"

"What do you call a Mexican without a car... carlos"

"If god can artificially inseminate someone, why did he need two of every animal on the ark to repopulate the world?"

"Mommy! The boys at school pay me to climb trees! ""Honey, they only want you to do that so they can see your panties!"" Yeah, I know, that's why I take them off."

"I'm no expert on Masturbation But I hold my own."

"What separates the men from the boys is knowing that women love it when they show off their big throbbing manners and intelligence."

"I hate when people text back ""K""...I'm rarely in the mood to talk about potassium."

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It's some weird number. You probably never heard of it."

"Q: Why can't blondes put in light bulbs? A: They keep breaking them with the hammers."