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Joke of the Day

"What sound does a Chinese doorbell make? Ching Chong"

"Today would have been my moms 50th birthday... but she was born in January."

"I don't need to run a marathon to load up on carbs and ask someone to wrap me up in a blanket."

"I dumped my boyfriend with a lazy eye. Turns out he was seeing chicks on the side."

"The only good mornings are the ones that start in the afternoon."

"Sorry, ""hella"" was an inappropriate word choice. I was trying to be cool. I'll rephrase: Your son is totally missing."

"""Doctor, how's the patient?"" Doctor: He's critical. Patient: Dear prospective viewers, remaking 'Point Break' was a bad mistake. Utterly pointless."

"[NSFW] Offensive as Fuck What's big and blue and has 300 nipples? The dumpster outside the breast cancer clinic."

"Shout out to my arms They're always by my side"

"I wish boxing was like wrestling so when the ref was distracted Manny Pacquiao would run in & hit Floyd Mayweather with a Stone Cold Stunner"