214197

Joke of the Day

"I found a 1,700 yard rock the other day.... It was a real milestone."

"who said i can't tell the difference between humans and fruit? are you bananas"

"A police officer called my attention He asked why I have red eyes.......Now we both have sore eyes"

"Fun Fact: 100% of people don't know what to do with a dirty dish at someone else's house."

"People are always talking about how popular Steve Jobs was.. But I don't think he'll ever be as popular as his brother, Hand."

"Before I had my son, I used to hate kids. Now I just hate yours."

"Whenever someone says they have ""a thing"" for me, I secretly hope it's a pony."

"they joke about mine being... ...a whole nuther leg!"

"If two vegans fight is it still considered beef? Sorry for the unoriginal joke, have an invisible flying potato."

"Son! You have been adopted -Really! -Yes. Now gather your shit and get out. Your new parents are here to pick you up."