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Joke of the Day

"Why does Shakira have such a hard time sleeping at night? Because her hips won't lie."

"Why is owning a Prius difficult? It's hard to drive when you're patting yourself on the back all the time."

"I just heard the words ""she received an academic scholarship from the university of Alabama."" I never thought I'd hear ""academic scholarship"", ""university"" and ""Alabama"" in the same sentence."

"I just found spaghetti in our heating ducts if any of you were thinking of having children."

"My bank says my password isn't strong enough. Did it ever stop and think that my password has a lot going on right now?"

"My parents are in a fight My dad wanted to go see a lighthearted psychic. My mother wanted to buy some cheerful watercolors. I hope they find a happy medium"

"How come if you eat two cookies you gain 3 lbs. Then when you take a major dump, you don't lose anything?"

"Neat how we spend so much time and money on the war against pot but there are people driving around with eyelashes and antlers on their cars"

"What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? Nothing. She just gagged a little."

"I went out for a vindaloo last night and my arse is really sore today I can't believe some of the things I do for a free curry."