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Joke of the Day

"Kids are scared to pour vinegar in their cups because BAKING SODA. BAKING SODA. I GOT BAKING SODA"

"2night's funniest bit: a fellow comic enters the room &, given a choice between talking w/ me & w/ a homeless man, chooses the homeless man."

"redneck incest paradox Apparently, there are guys down in Alabama, there, who are their own fathers!!! (I can say this, safely, because I live in TN. We don't do anything fucked around here..."

"Sir you don't need to be tailgating me I'm already going 55mph in a 35mph zone And the lights on top of your car look ridiculous"

"A baby seal walked into a club... =)"

"Columbus: I claim this cake for Spain. Also these Slim Jims are for Spain, too. And maybe the me: dude, that's my mom's cassero- C: Spain."

"95% of parenting is using your sock as a mop."

"What do you call an overpriced circumcision? A rip off."

"Why can't Chuck Norris complete forms and applications on the internet? Because he can't bring himself to click the ""submit"" button."

"My lucky number is 4,000,000,000. Doesn't come in handy when you're gambling. Come on 4 billion... Fuck, 7. We need some more dice. 4 billion divided by 6, at least. -Mitch Hedberg"