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Joke of the Day

"Facebook friend: If you can't handle me at my worst, then you- SHUT UP, SHANNON. YOU'RE *ALWAYS* AT YOUR WORST."

"[Twister] DOG 1: left paw green DOG 2: i told u this was a terrible idea DOG 1: cmon Jim just pick the green one DOG 2: THEYRE ALL GREY GARY"

"My wife's favourite drink is wine. Which coincidentally, is also her favourite hobby."

"If a murderer wanted to lure me out of my room all he'd have to do is turn off my wifi cause sure as shit i'm gonna see why it aint working"

"I went to see a night of XXX short films! Imagine my disappointment when it was just 30 Roman movies."

"Where did Suze go during the bombing? Everywhere"

"What happened to the man in crutches when he heard a punny joke he couldn't bear to stand it."

"If you sleep with two prostitutes in one day... what is the first one called? a whore-derve"

"""Doctor"" said the patient ""I need help! I can't stop acting like a cat!"" ""How long have you had this problem?"" the doctor asked. ""Lest's see"" said the patient ""Mom had the litter in '41"

"Dude, relax. Nothing wrong with a little experimenting. You're making a brokeback mountain out of a brokeback molehill."