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Joke of the Day
"Schrodinger's Crush: Before you ask her out, she is both single and taken"
Next Joke
"What's the difference between a good joke and me not giving a shit? Fuck you"
"What do you call a fish with no eye? A fsh."
"What do wolves say when you yell barba streisand in the forest? uuuuuUuuuUUUUuuuuuuuUuUUUuuuuuuuuuU"
"My daughter has an ice skating date with her boyfriend tonight. So I'll be the guy skating behind two 12 year olds carrying a shotgun."
"Arteries have a special place in my heart"
"Teaching your dog to fetch a beer is smart. Fetching it from your neighbor's house is genius."
"What do you call a stingy douchebag who likes plants? A prick"
"Why did the dog's owner think his dog was a great mathematician? When he asked the dog what six minus six was the dog said nothing."
"Somebody stole my Microsoft Office... Whoever did it will pay. You have my Word."