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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a stingy douchebag who likes plants? A prick"

"""If you are fat you will die,"" said the thin ppl, who would never die."

"So my parents caught me masturbating. They must've heard the rustling in their wardrobe when they were fucking."

"I know this guy that's hooked on brake fluid He said he could stop anytime."

"This is circular logic because this is circular logic."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Aardvark ! Aardvark who ? Aardvark a million miles for one of your smiles !"

"Whats the difference between a hormone and an enzyme? You can't hear an enzyme"

"Actually, until you cut into it it's chocolate *magma* cake. If you could just bring me a menu with the proper nomenclature that'd be great."

"Why do hamburgers feel sad at barbecues? They get to meet their old flames!"

"What do you call a chicken looking at a bowl of lettuce? Chicken sees a salad"