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Joke of the Day

"My daughter has an ice skating date with her boyfriend tonight. So I'll be the guy skating behind two 12 year olds carrying a shotgun."

"One day I got this huge erection. I started running and hit a wall. You know what broke? My nose"

"2 lepers playing poker... 1 throws his hand in, the other laughs his head off."

"Did you hear about the crowd of Catholic priests at baby Gap? The sign in the window advertised ""Little Boys Pants Half Off!"""

"What do you call Jews with HIV? Financial AIDS."

"Superman: Kinda sucks you can't fly. Batman: It's okay. Superman: Why? Batman: My planet hasn't exploded, so I can still walk and drive."

"Wife: ""Would you like to help me....?"" Translation: ""Do it or die."""

"What would you call the Flintstones if they were black in 2015? The Flintstones."

"A girl asked me if I would like to see her pussy... ...and then she showed me her cat!"

"If you aren't a Nazi right now, thank a veteran."