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Joke of the Day

"Ladies, try carrying a sausage and 2 apricots in your pocket for a day without them moving and you'll see why we need to readjust ourselves."

"Some of my best friends started out as bad choices."

"Shout out to people who block me cuz it hurts their feelings I occasionally fav them without following. You can also just ask me to stop :/"

"Three kittens were on a roof, which slipped off first? The one with the lowest mew"

"What do a chop shop and a desperate actress have in common? They both strip for parts!"

"What happens when someone overdoses on Viagra? They die hard."

"An interracial couple eating Cheerios and non-English speakers drinking Coke. We're a Benghazi pizza commercial away from a Texas secession."

"What would Hitler have said to the Jews if he were a Keynesian economist? ""In the short run, _you're_ all dead!"""

"Spread me apart, lick, & enjoy my cream! ~Oreos, you pervs"

"What did the doctor say about the organ donor which died from a clotted artery? ""at least his death wasn't in vein"""