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Joke of the Day

"Shout out to people who block me cuz it hurts their feelings I occasionally fav them without following. You can also just ask me to stop :/"

Next Joke
 
"Hey did you hear about the chameleon that couldn't change color? It had a reptile dysfunction"
"[Doctors appointment] Me: It hurts when I go like this. *gets up and leaves and goes to work*"
"How many friend-zoned guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. They just sit around and compliment it and get pissed when it won't screw."
"So a baby seal walks into a club"
"Tweriod: That time of the month when all my tweets are moody, retain water and are about chocolate and cheesecake"
"Disease doesn't care if you are a celebrity, Micheal J. Fox has battled Parkinson for 22 years, and Jamie Lee Curtis is super irregular!"
"""I'm gonna make you so happy, baby. And then I'm gonna make you real sad."" - gas station nachos"
"I walked into a lesbian karate class. All that they were doing was scissor kicks."
"M: Are you gonna eat that baby? Lady: What!!?! Go away you Sick-O' M: Sorry! I saw you putting it on Instagram & figured.. Never mind."