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Joke of the Day
"Some of my best friends started out as bad choices."
Next Joke
"You'd think these people on Grey's Anatomy would've already figured out that a major disaster is going to happen every year around May."
"A vegan took my picture. It was hard to smile saying, ""Gluten-free, dairy-free, imitation monteray jack soy cheese."""
"Did you hear about the woman who drowned in semen? She had it coming."
"Where do you find a dog with no arms or legs? Right where ya left him."
"Pavlov walks into a bar and hears a loud bell. ""Oh shit,"" he exclaims. ""I forgot to feed my dogs."""
"I don't know why, but the record for oldest person seems to be cursed. Every time someone gets it, they die shortly afterwards."
"Me: Yes, I'd like the Mexican massage. Masseuse: The what? Me: *hands him taco seasoning and sour cream* Masseuse: Me: Let's go, chop chop."
"What do you call a Spanish midget? A paragraph. Because he's not a full essay."
"DOG BALLS Q: What do you call a dog that has balls of steel and is dragging them across cement? A: Sparky."