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Joke of the Day

"What did the doctor say about the organ donor which died from a clotted artery? ""at least his death wasn't in vein"""

Next Joke
 
"Not sure if i should be proud of this or not, but our employee handbook had 37 new rules added since i started working here."
"[couple tossing baby back and forth] [music stops] judge: custody granted dad: [holding baby] AW DAMMIT"
"what did one lesbian vampire say to the other? same time next month? (hopefully not a repost)"
"A Jewish kid asks his dad for 50 bucks. His dad says, ""40 dollars? What do you want 30 dollars for?"""
"Cashier: Your total is $2,334.00. Me: Can you take off the avocado? Cashier: Okay, that will be $2.00."
"Chinese elders dildo SHITTY SHITTY SHITTY"
"Before you start your artisanal candle business ask yourself: does the world need one more lychee-scented soy candle? Or even one?"
"*walks into bar with camera* Me: Can I take a shot of this glass? Bartender: Take a pitcher, it'll last longer"
"What kind of tea do the crime investigation team drink? A ""casual tea"""