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Joke of the Day

"What's green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table."

"One time I fell asleep on a pile of change. When I woke up, my face looked like Mount Rushmore. (This isn't so much a joke as just something that happened.)"

"I bought a pair of Undies yesterday. On the front it says, ""I Will do Anything For Love"" ..and on the back it says, ""But I Won't do That."""

"What do a tornado and a black man have in common? They both can ruin a neighborhood."

"I know it's ""cool"" to make fun of celebrities, but the Bieber jokes need to stop. That's somebody's daughter."

"Sorry I commented on that video of your kid taking his first steps with ""aw look you taught it how to walk on its hind legs!"""

"What's the difference between a man and E.T.? E.T. phoned home."

"Prank Caller- Hello! is your refrigerator running?? Me- No, but the dishwasher is.. Prank Caller- Huh??? Me- Yeah my wife's out on a jog..."

"The rotation of earth Really makes my day."

"I've come from the future to let you know the Chilean miners will be OK, and that we haven't yet perfected time travel."