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Joke of the Day

"Happy poops are all alike; every unhappy poop is unhappy in its own way."

"*overeats sugar* *gets diabetes* *gets limbs amputated* *can finally smile authentically in pics now that not worried what to do with hands*"

"I stepped on a rusty Lego the other day... I'm worried I might have contracted Tetris."

"""Honey, am I fat?"" ""No, not at all"" ""You're lying"" ""I swear. By the way, you got something on your chin... no, the other one"""

"Jeopardy Contestant: Saturday night for $400 Alex: This when the song Tennessee Whiskey is playing in the background Contestant: What is Jacking Daniels?"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? Because It wanted to come before the egg."

"How do you make 7 even? By removing the S"

"Why do strippers hate roofers? They always pay in shingles."

"24 astronauts were born in Ohio. What is about your state that makes people want to flee the Earth?"

"Latino soap operas where no one seems to have locks on their doors and people burst in at odd hours demanding the truth"