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Joke of the Day

"Jeopardy Contestant: Saturday night for $400 Alex: This when the song Tennessee Whiskey is playing in the background Contestant: What is Jacking Daniels?"

"Bradley Cooper looks like a guy who's playing a ""famous actor"" in a made-for-TV movie."

"New business name slogans Tawnya's Cleaning Service: I'm not willing to clean my own home, but I'll clean the shit outta yours! What do you think?"

"The wind blew a smart car into my lane and I had to roll down my window and swat it out of the way."

"What do you call a friend who turns a wine glass into a candle holder? An acquaintance"

"Who brings the Christmas presents to police stations? Santa Clues."

"wife: Would you ever want an open marriage? me *messages every girl in my phone asking if they'd have sex with me* Umm *all respond no* Nah"

"How long does Netflix have to be down before they send someone to your house to stroke your hair & tell you everything's going to be alright"

"What did the retarded kids call there rock band? Syndrome of a Down..."

"My dance moves are so white Charlie Sheen tried to snort them."