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Joke of the Day

"What's going on under there? Nobody has to know but you. - Poncho salesman"

"[High school reunion] Hey guys! Remember me!? ""No"" How about now? *puts an entire toilet on my head* (in unison) CHRIS!"

"All you people who chose ""The Real"" or ""Official"" before your Twitter handle really thought ahead of the game there. Well done, guys."

"Okay stranger, it's clear that we walk at the exact same pace, speed up or at least hold my hand."

"I painted my computer black in hopes that it would run faster. Now it wont work."

"God: Hmm now where did I leave that fish? It couldn't possibly have grown legs and walked away Darwin: lol ur not gonna believe this"

"What did the engineer say to the flood? Dam!"

"Why do Asian woman have small breasts? Because her parents accept nothing less than an A."

"Friends are like bricks it's kinda funny when you throw them through a window"

"What's the currency in space? Starbucks"