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Joke of the Day

"Some people want a perfect relationship. I just want a cheeseburger that looks like the ones in commercials."

"TIFU by changing TIFU's meaning to make a joke. Today I fished (for) up-votes by ( insert made up story )."

"Me: *stumbles in front of boss at work* Boss: haha have a nice trip, see you in the fall Me: *takes 8 month vacation*"

"Men don't ignore us; they have selective hearing. Give them instructions for roasted turkey & they'll remember ""breast, thighs, moist & hot"""

"Can someone finish this joke? My friend wrote this much before he committed suicide:""Three prostitute nuns walk into a bar..."""

"Yo momma so fat When she went to the beach the whales started singing ""We are family!"""

"So Tiger will be back for The Masters? I was really hoping he'd wait until The Player's Championship. The man's comedic timing is terrible."

"I was in NYC and a black guy asked me if the Yankees won. I replied, ""Yeah, man, you're free."""

"What do you call a black guy who plays the piano? a pianist"

"When the mechanic said I 'blew a seal', I was afraid he knew about that summer I worked at Sea World but it turns out it's some car thing."